Blogging makes me nervous.
Not sure if I held these feelings when I first started blogging (middle school!), but I do know that I hold them now & may possibly stick with them in the future. Let me elaborate.
I take journaling very personally. I am fond of the concept of logging your thoughts and expressing yourself in a way that, at many times, only you can understand. However, may it be writing in a notebook or typing up a storm on some website, I still write as if I have an audience. As if I’m talking to at least one person. I’m not being arrogant and saying that I’m positive that I’ll have one (especially since this also applies to my tangible journal); focusing my attention on another individual sets my eyes onto a different perspective. Most of the time, a clearer perspective. This is why journaling has become almost therapeutic for me; my entries become far more than I had foreseen them to be. Blogging’s only slightly different. A unique community consisting of various individuals with various needs and aspirations. Many with the need to log in their days or log in their thoughts. Many only becoming some of the most ambiguous individuals you will ever know. Many of whom I’d want to hug, & not necessarily out of pity, but out of love and admiration of their audacity and integrity. Either way, for me at least, any type of journaling requires some sort of reflection. I think that, in order for it to be most effective, it needs to be genuine. I think it requires you to open yourself up in a way that it hurts. Having it “hurt” isn’t restricted to the lower moments of your life. It may very well be your most happiest; it may pain you to have that desire to expell every wonderful detail but cannot find words worthy enough to fully articulate it into text. I suppose that’s the reason why I get nervous, for lack of a better term. It’s exposing yourself in such a manner to make yourself understand, well, yourself. It’s an art.
As for myself, I’ve been wanting to write for a good amount of time. Write about a wide range of topics, from the most miniscule picker-uppers of my day to thought-provoking instances that have moved me to seek a different perspective. Inspiration plays a big role in my writing, along with factors such as time and effort. The fact is, it’s past 4AM & I am physically exhausted, but I am mentally energized with the need to explain myself… to myself.
So here it is. A blog entry. Voilà & goodnight.
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